Echo Chamber
by MadnessJones
Summary: G1: Astrotrain is an odd mech, but the eeriest part of him is his voice. Why does it always sound like more than one person is speaking? The answer is both disturbing and tragic. Two part fic. Astrotrain/OC
1. Part I

_Author's Notes: Well...I'm not sure what I've just done, or if it was a good idea or not. This is mostly a character study of Astrotrain. Why is it categorized as both romance and horror? Because Astrotrain is a confusing character. That's no accident. He can be a power hungry monster one scene and a blithering moron in the next scene. It has been stated that he was purposefully written that way because this character likes to confuse other Transformers. That being said, while this story is probably not my scariest (I would guess that one to be Join Us), I will say that Astrotrain is probably the darkest character I've ever written in a fanfic. Yeah, who knew?_

 _Anyway, this fic is a two parter. Thank you for checking it out, and please review :)_

* * *

 **Echo Chamber**

 **Part I**

Thrust and Swindle weren't really friends. They barely knew each other, and just did business every now and then when Thrust wanted something and Swindle had the goods. Today, however, they were allies against a common enemy. Well, they were actually allies in running away from their common enemy, but it still counted.

They ran down the halls as the sound of a train horn could be heard in the distance getting closer to their location. Astrotrain was hot on their trail and ready to pound them both into scrap for scamming him out of his last batch of high grade. Oh, if only Thrust hadn't listened when Swindle suggested selling those fake power converters! Now they had a homicidal triple changer trying to run them over!

"Quick, in here!" Thrust called out to Swindle as he opened a supply closet.

"Are you crazy? If we stop he'll catch us!" Swindle protested.

"Don't worry about it," Thrust said slyly as he ducked into the supply closet, "Our resident train brain doesn't have the processing power of a pocket watch! He won't even realize he lost us until he's halfway across the ship."

Swindle, have no time and no other options, accepted this flimsy explanation and rushed to get into the supply closet with Thrust. He just hoped nobody caught them in there together. The rumor mill on this ship was faster than the speed of sound.

Astrotrain stopped when he got to the hallway that had the supply closet, and Thrust and Swindle held their intakes and did their best not to make a sound. If that triple changing brute found them they'd be flattened into license plates!

"Well, it seems I lost them," Astrotrain said to himself; his voice echoing all around the hallway and reverberating into the other Cons' hiding place, "Those two bozos will rue the day they messed with Astrotrain. Since I don't know where they went, I guess I'll just have to bribe Brawl into telling me Swindle's location when he returns to the Combaticons' lair. Yeah, that should do it…"

Astrotrain continued to speak to himself as he walked down the hall, and when he was finally gone Swindle gulped audibly and shrunk further into himself. Astrotrain was going to wait him out like a cat cornering a mouse. Every time Swindle made a bad deal he always wondered if it was his last.

"That was close," Thrust sighed in relief as he rubbed his forehead tiredly, "You got any weapons stashed somewhere we can get to? I don't know about you, but I'm not recharging unless I have a really powerful gun by my berth."

"Sorry, my latest weapons shipment doesn't come in until Tuesday," Swindle replied nervously, "Listen Thrust, you've worked with Astrotrain for deca-vorns. Do you know somethin' we can do to make him forget he hates us?"

"Uh...Gee, I don't know," Thrust shrugged helplessly, "Now that you mention it, it's kind of weird. I've been inside Astrotrain's cargo hold on countless missions, and I've worked with him too many times to count, but I still don't really know anything about him."

"Most of what I know is from rumors and secondhand accounts," Swindle admitted, "I heard he likes to torment people by confusin' them before he kills them."

"Yeah, that's true," Thrust nodded, "I know he spends most of his off time hanging out with Blitzwing, but even Blitzwing tells me they aren't really friends. He says Astrotrain is too much of a control freak to really be pals with."

"Do you know what I heard?" Swindle asked conspiratorially, "I heard there's a sinister reason Astrotrain sounds so weird."

"What? You mean his echoey voice?" Thrust asked indifferently.

"Think about it, Thrust," Swindle insisted as he tapped the red Conehead's helm, "He doesn't just echo or modulate. Even Soundwave's voice sounds modified, but Astrotrain's voice is different. It actually sounds like multiple people are speaking at once. Haven't you ever wondered why?"

"Well...I'll admit it creeps me out," Thrust said hesitantly, "I mean, he is the only one I've ever heard like that. I just assumed it was a triple changer thing, but now that you mention it, Blitzwing is a triple changer and he doesn't sound like that. Why is he like that? What did you hear?"

Swindle motioned with his finger for Thrust to lean in closer. Thrust craned his helm nearer to Swindle, and the yellow jeep-former leaned in to whisper in Thrust's audio receptor.

"I heard he's a _spark eater_ ," Swindle stage-whispered.

"*gulp* A spark eater? That's crazy!" Thrust denied, though it seemed more like he was trying to convince himself, "Astrotrain might be a little off-putting, but he's not a cannibal!"

"Oh no?" Swindle asked with a malicious smirk, "That's exactly what a spark eater sounds like. The extra voices would be the voices of his victims; trapped forever inside the ugly rocket-train's own spark. It would also explain his strength. Spark eaters grow more powerful by consuming the sparks of others. We both know how power hungry Astrotrain is. Perhaps that statement should be taken a bit more... _literally_?"

"No way! Astrotrain isn't a ghoul!" Trust exclaimed; trying desperately to get the thought of a spark-eating Astrotrain out of his mind, "Wait! You don't think he'd…? You don't think he's going to eat _our_ sparks, do you?"

"Not if we get outta here first!" Swindle declared, "I don't know how, but we've gotta get more high grade."

"Why don't you just give him his original high grade back?" Thrust asked; already picking up on Swindle's idea.

"Well, I, uh...I already traded it to Skywarp for a new plasma coil, which I traded to Vortex for a used spark chamber, which I sold the Constructicons for 85 creds," Swindle admitted with an odd mixture of shame and pride, "The high grade was only worth 35 creds, so I made out pretty good. 50 cred profit."

Thrust facepalmed and wondered to himself how he got suckered into working with this greedy moron. Oh well, nothing he could do about it now. Their only hope was to gather as much high grade as possible and give it to Astrotrain as a peace offering. Hopefully he wouldn't kill them...or eat their sparks. Thrust still wondered if what Swindle said about Astrotrain was true, and if it wasn't, then where did the triple changer get that weird echoing voice?

* * *

 **650,000 vorns ago**

Astrotrain had been separated from his battalion for several joors. They had gone into battle against the Autobots on planet Hegris 9 and had come out victorious. The Autobots on this planet were weak and had little defense against a squadron of Decepticons as aggressive and deadly as Astrotrain's troops.

This was the first group Astrotrain had ever commanded, and it felt pretty good to be able to call the shots and see firsthand the fruits of his labor. Many Autobots died at the servos of his mechs, and he had killed several on his own as well. Hegris 9 was a planet with an intelligent but unadvanced organic species living on it, and most of them had been wiped out by the Decepticons in an effort to harvest the energy of this world.

Astrotrain was feeling pretty good about their accomplishments, but a force would appear that not even the Decepticons could fight against: acid rain. Just like Cybertron, Hegris 9 had acid storms that would burn right through Cybertronian armor. The main difference was that these storms didn't just last for a few joors. They lasted for over 3 of the planet's months!

Astrotrain was alone and on patrol 20 mechanic-miles from his headquarters when he heard the first crash of thunder. He looked up worriedly and saw a crimson red cloud swiftly gliding across the sky and closer to his location. He knew what this meant. Soon that cloud would encompass the entire planet like a blanket, and if he wasn't in a shelter soon he would be burned to death by the acid!

Astrotrain transformed into train mode and drove as quickly as he could through the flat plains in search of shelter. There was nothing around but grass and a few stray flowers, and that was when Astrotrain really began to panic. He had to find a place to hide!

5 breems later Astrotrain was barely outrunning the storm, and he already had a few tiny holes in his armor from the acid droplets. He was sure this was the end, but then he saw the most beautiful thing on the entire planet. It was a barn! A large steel barn made with material specifically treated to survive the harsh weather, and it looked big enough for Astrotrain to fit inside!

The triple changer burst through the doors in his train mode! He quickly changed back into robot mode and slammed the doors shut; barricading them with boxes of straw he found lying around. Shortly after that, the storm came in earnest, but Astrotrain was safe in the abandoned structure.

Astrotrain slumped in relief. He was never so glad to see the inside of a building as he was in that moment. He looked around the barn and saw more boxes full of dried grass. He vaguely remembered that the former inhabitants of this world ate straw. He had squished more of those weakling organics than he cared to remember. He was never squeamish about getting organic remains on his pedes, and it served to gross out his troops, which he always found amusing.

He went to sit down on one of the numerous boxes when he heard a soft moan coming from behind one of them. Astrotrain readied his laser rifle and slowly made his way to the source of the noise. He suddenly jumped around the corner and held his rifle directly in front of his target, and saw that it was an injured Autobot femme!

"Freeze, worm!" Astrotrain shouted threateningly.

"Please, don't shoot!" The femme held up her hands and looked at him with wide fearful optics, "I'm not armed! Please sir, I surrender..."

Astrotrain took a good look at her, and could see that not even her body had any installed weapons. She was short and slender with many outstretched rings going around her arms and legs. It looked like she transformed into a saucer shaped satellite. Her coloring was bland to say the least. A brown helm, brown arms and legs, and a cream color on her face and body. Her right ankle was shredded in several places and leaking energon.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't blast you to the matrix!" Astrotrain demanded; his rifle still aimed at her spark chamber.

"Because then you will be alone, for several months," The femme reasoned, "You don't have to hurt me. I won't cause you any trouble. You don't even have to talk to me if you don't feel like it. I know you have the ability to terminate me, but just remember that if you do, you will be alone with yourself for who knows how long. Just think about that, please."

Astrotrain was skeptical that loneliness would really bother him that badly. He was used to making long space voyages alone for orns on end. He didn't mind being alone. Then again, being alone with a helpless captive femme did have its benefits. If he kept her alive then he would have something to do when he got bored. It wasn't like she could get away or fight back in her condition.

"Fine. You'll live...for _now_ ," Astrotrain begrudgingly told her, "Just don't step out of line or else! As long as we're stuck together, I'm the boss! Got that?"

"You seem to relish the idea of controlling another being's actions," The femme observed with an analyzing tone of voice.

"So?" Astrotrain snapped, "Why should that matter?"

"I don't know," The femme shrugged weakly, "Why do you think it matters?"

"What?" Astrotrain asked, confused.

"Maybe I should start over," The femme suggested, "Hello sir, my name is Carousel. What is your name?"

"Astrotrain," replied the titular Decepticon, "I'm in charge of the conquest of this entire planet. You see all that destruction and chaos out there? You're _welcome_."

"Sir, the Greebs did nothing to deserve this," Carousel shook her helm sadly, "Why did you kill them? There are so few left, and all they wanted was to live in peace. If power was your motivation, then why didn't you simply enslave them? At least that way they would still be alive, and then you'd have someone to stroke your already over-inflated ego."

"It sounds like you don't approve?" Astrotrain taunted the disgusted Autobot, "Don't act so righteous. Even you've killed before."

"First of all, no I haven't," Carousel replied bitingly, "And second, the Autobots protecting themselves and the citizens of this planet is not the same thing as the rape and slaughter of this world, which is what you and your kind are committing."

"You've never killed anyone?" Astrotrain asked in muted shock, "How is that even possible?"

Astrotrain was so used to the war and used to the fact that life was either kill or be killed that it never even occurred to him that there were those that didn't live by that moral code.

"It's possible because I am not a soldier," Carousel explained, "I'm a psychiatrist. My job is to aid Autobot soldiers who are dealing with mental trauma and guilt over their actions. I suppose I would have nothing to do if I worked with the Decepticons, considering Megatron's views on mental health professionals. I'm not sure how anyone in your faction can still be considered mentally stable."

"Who says we are?" Astrotrain shrugged nonchalantly, "I learned to accept the craziness a long time ago. I find going out of my way to confuse people helps ease the tension."

"That's not surprising," Carousel replied knowingly, "Using humor and pranks is a common way for soldiers to cope with their everyday stress."

"Hey Carousel, get over here," Astrotrain suddenly demanded.

"Excuse me?" Carousel stalled.

"I said get over here!" Astrotrain repeated, "I want you to massage my shoulder struts. My transformation has been a little stiff there lately."

"Oh, um, alright, I suppose," Carousel stammered as she slowly rose to her pedes.

Her ankle hurt something awful, but Carousel took the slow careful steps required to get to Astrotrain. She did as she was told, but she was afraid of being within grabbing distance of the oversized mech. She knew that Decepticons were ruthless and aggressive, and Astrotrain had done nothing to dissuade that perception. Still, she knew disobeying him was far more dangerous than obeying him, so she walked behind him and began to massage his shoulders' interior struts.

Carousel worked dislocated joints back into place, and Astrotrain moaned contentedly and leaned forward in relaxation. Carousel felt uncomfortable with this, but she didn't say anything. In her profession she knew there was a time to speak and a time to be silent and listen for any warning signs. This was one of the latter times.

* * *

The next few orns passed with a surprising amount of peace. Astrotrain didn't bother Carousel unless he felt like giving her an order or if he wanted something. He hadn't forced himself on her, and in Carousel's mind that was a huge relief.

On this particular cycle Carousel was dumping out the straw from several boxes and neatly arranging it into a place for her to recharge peacefully. She had been recharging on the ground, but she missed having someplace that felt clean. Her ankle had gained some mobility thanks to her self repair systems, but it still hurt when she turned it a wrong way.

Astrotrain sat on a box and watched her intently. She tried to ignore his scrutiny, but he wasn't exactly being subtle about the fact that he was watching her. She normally could tell what a mech or femme was thinking by the expression on their face plates, but she had quickly learned that reading Astrotrain wasn't so easy. One moment he would be pleasant and even funny, but then in the next moment he would fly off in a homicidal rage. If she still had her civilian practice, Carousel would've made a lot of money analyzing this guy. As it was, she was trapped in an enclosed space with no way out and no one to help her if he should get angry at her.

"Hey Carousel!" Astrotrain shouted out of nowhere, and Carousel actually yelped in surprise, "What are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm just making my berth," Carousel tried to say it in a light tone, but her nervousness was still quite obvious.

"I'm bored!" Astrotrain complained, "Let's do something!"

"Oh, um…" Carousel tried to quickly think of something to do before Astrotrain's sick imagination supplied him with ideas, "Do you know how to do sheet shaping?"

"No. What's that?" Astrotrain asked curiously.

"Well, I noticed there are several thin sheets of metal lying around the barn," Carousel showed him by picking up a small rectangular sheet, "Sheet shaping means bending and working the metal until it becomes a work of art. I'll start by showing you a simple shape. I'm going to make a seeker sparkling. Grab a sheet and you can make yours the same time I make mine."

Astrotrain found a larger sheet that would look like the same proportions in his digits that Carousel's sheet looked in hers.

"Good, now first you fold a corner diagonally," Carousel instructed.

Astrotrain folded it, but growled in frustration when he saw his didn't look as neat as hers.

"Very good," Carousel replied sincerely, not noticing the same flaws Astrotrain noticed, "Now fold this part to the opposite corner. Good, now bend this part in half and pull it until both parts look squared off…"

Carousel continued to explain the process while Astrotrain followed her instructions. When they were finished she had a folded metal seeker sparkling, but all Astrotrain had was a mess that kind of looked like an injured cassette bird.

"I _hate_ _this_!" Astrotrain shouted angrily as he slammed his warped creation into the wall hard enough to leave a dent, "I don't like sheet shaping!"

"B-but, y-you were doing so well…" Carousel stuttered; shaken by his latest outburst, "Nobody ever does it perfectly th-the first time. I can sh-show you a different shape if you want-"

" _Shut up_!" Astrotrain screamed at her, "Either shut up or I'll throw you out into the storm, you _useless fragging glitch_!"

Carousel turned away so Astrotrain wouldn't see her crying. She leaned against the wall with her back turned to the brute and hoped he would leave her alone. Astrotrain looked at her tense and frightened stance, and he felt something odd inside of him. He had trouble identifying the feeling for a moment, but then it hit him; he felt _bad_ for hurting her. Carousel had been nothing but kind to him, and he treated her like slag. Usually he was okay with that, but for some reason he didn't like seeing Carousel upset like that.

"Carousel…" Astrotrain addressed her in a soft tone of voice, and reluctantly she looked at him, "I'm sorry. I really am. If it helps, you made a good seekerling."

Carousel nodded and muttered a soft _thank you_ , but wasn't willing to say anything more. She went over to the berth she made and crawled on top of it. She just wanted to start a new day with a new outlook.

* * *

It was a few orns later, and Astrotrain had slowly worked on treating Carousel with more tenderness. She wouldn't exactly call his behavior respectful, since he would still go out of his way to mention her inferiority due to her Autobot leanings, but he was at least trying to be somewhat kind.

"Say Carousel, you said you were a therapist, right?" Astrotrain asked as he was looking out the window at the burning rain.

"Yes Astrotrain, I did," Carousel replied distantly while she folded some sheet metal into the shape of a turbo fox.

"Well, if you were writing a psycho-analytical report on me, what would it say?" Astrotrain asked curiously.

"On you?" Carousel asked uncertainly, "I couldn't tell you even if I was. Reports of that nature are confidential and are only kept for the psychiatrist's notes. Now, if you want I could tell you what treatments and medicines I would prescribe for you…"

" _Treatments_?" Astrotrain asked; affronted, "So you think there really _is_ something wrong with me?"

"I never said that…" Carousel evaded the subject.

"No! No waffling! You specifically said treatments and medicines!" Astrotrain shouted unwaveringly, "Why would you say that unless you think I'm crazy?"

"I don't think you're crazy, Astrotrain!" Carousel shouted in panic, "Please, calm down. I would only give you these options because I believe you suffer from a stress-related dissociative personality disorder."

"What the pit does _that_ mean?" Astrotrain asked heatedly.

"It means you cope with trauma by changing your core behavior over and over again. It's common among triple changers," Carousel tried to sound reassuring, but Astrotrain still continued to glare at her, "Some days you tell me you want to take over the Decepticons like Starscream, and the next you're super loyal to Megatron. One day you told me your father beat you, and then the next day you said you had no father. At first I thought you were a compulsive liar, but I'm beginning to suspect that's not the whole story. I think there are more layers to you than you're willing to admit. Honestly, on some level, you fascinate me."

That last comment completely changed Astrotrain's perception on everything else she said before that. He had been thoroughly insulted by the idea that he had gone off the rails, but hearing Carousel say that he fascinated her...that changed everything. He had felt a stirring within himself for orns now when he watched Carousel, and now to think she might feel the same way made Astrotrain _very_ happy.

"I'm sorry if what I said offended you," Carousel said apologetically, "I didn't mean to hurt you. Can you forgive me?"

"Huh? Oh, sure," Astrotrain replied dismissively, "Carousel...get over here."

Carousel was used to him saying that when he wanted his shoulder struts worked on, so she walked over without resistance. When she got there this time however, Astrotrain grabbed her, forced her against a wall, and kissed her passionately before she even knew what was going on!

"Ah! Astrotrain, what are you _doing_?" Carousel asked hurriedly; still shocked by what had just happened.

"Carousel, I want you, and I can tell you want me too," Astrotrain declared, "I promise not to hurt you. Interface with me!"

"No! Astrotrain, let me go! I don't want this!" Carousel shouted as she tried in vain to shove away the much larger mech.

"Why are you fighting me?" Astrotrain asked as he backed off; legitimately confused, "I thought you wanted me. You just said...you _did_ say... _I'll kill you_!"

Carousel gasped and sidestepped quickly. She knew she couldn't go anywhere, but she hoped she could calm him down long enough to survive this latest mood shift. He was going stir crazy, and if she didn't think of something he would really kill her.

"Why would you tell me you were fascinated by me if you didn't mean it!?" Astrotrain shouted bitterly, "You've been leading me on!"

"No! I never meant to lead you on!" Carousel exclaimed as she held up her hands and hoped for the best, "All I'm saying is you were moving too fast. We barely know each other. I'm not even saying _no_ forever. I'm just saying _no_ for now. Please, can't you understand that I'm not ready for this? I'm not insulting you, I just don't want to interface with you right now."

"But I'm ready now!" Astrotrain insisted petulantly.

"Astrotrain," Carousel said his name in a flat serious tone, "You can't always control everything in your life. Nobody can. All you can control is you. Think about this, if you actually forced yourself on me then I would hate you forever, and we would still be stuck together in this shed. If you really care about me, then mere physical pleasure won't be good enough for you. If you kill me, then you'll just be alone again. Please, neither one of us wants it this way. Please just give me time...give _us_ time. I don't hate you, but I don't love you yet either."

Astrotrain was conflicted. Part of him wanted to risk it and take her anyway, since he was sure he blew his chance at a real relationship already. Then again, she sounded sincere when she said there was still a chance. She was a processor doctor. Maybe she understood him despite him having trouble understanding himself.

Finally, Astrotrain sighed and walked away. He didn't know what he was going to do if Carousel never accepted him. She had been his only contact for so long, and he had seen so many good things in her. He didn't think he could live without her in his life anymore.


	2. Part II

_Author's Notes: I know this story won't be too popular, but that's okay. I'm starting to figure out minor characters don't attract a lot of attention. This story has had a nice little number of readers though, and I thank you all for your support. That being said, this chapter is more intense than the first one in terms of both fluff and horror. Don't say I didn't warn you. Thank you for reading, and please review if you feel like it :)_

* * *

 **Echo Chamber**

 **Part II**

A total of 25 orns had passed in the shed. The storm was still going strong, and the energon stores Astrotrain and Carousel had kept in their subspaces was getting low. They had to ration what little they had left very carefully, and it was really starting to get to Astrotrain, who needed more fuel than the average mech due to his size and complex transformation requirements.

Carousel had long forgiven Astrotrain's lustful behavior from several orns back. He didn't try to take advantage of her again, but he found that his lust for her was gradually turning into love. One thing that had changed was Astrotrain's willingness to speak openly with her. Since there wasn't much else to do, they would usually just sit around and talk.

"So what made you join the Autobots?" Astrotrain asked Carousel one orn, "I mean, you can't fight and, no offense, you aren't exactly tough. If anything you seem more like a neutral to me. So, what gives?"

"I've always wanted to help people," Carousel replied with a reminiscent smile, "When I was a sparkling I used to play with my little toy medical kit, and I always wanted to be just like the medics at the hospitals that cured patients and made them work again. When I got older my sire, who was an Autobot soldier, suddenly found himself trapped in a flashback loop and tried to gun down his own teammates. A psychiatrist from his unit managed to calm him down and saved all those other mechs. Ever since then I knew I wanted to work with patients with processor damage and use my skills to help those who need it most. What about you? Why are you a Decepticon?"

"Free energon," Astrotrain said with a smirk.

"And?" Carousel replied with a knowing smile of her own.

"And I like the feeling of power," Astrotrain replied casually, though Carousel knew how rare this window of insight was, "When I was a youngling my family and I moved around a lot. I always had to go where they wanted to go, do whatever any grownup mech told me to, obey orders without question, and never get any kind of reward for that obedience. With the Decepticons I still have to take orders, but I also get to give those orders. I get to see mechs and femmes tremble before me, and it's a pretty great feeling. Carousel...Do you think we'll ever interface with each other? I'm not asking to do it now or anything, but do you think maybe...someday?"

"Do you want an honest answer?" Carousel asked pointedly, and reluctantly Astrotrain nodded, "Well, honestly, I don't think anything good can come from a relationship between you and me."

"How can you _say_ _that_?" Astrotrain asked; his spark wounded, "Look, if this is about that time I tried to...I said I was sorry! I'm not making you do anything! How can you say we're not good for each other?"

"Because we're all we have right now," Carousel explained; her optics sad yet accepting, "Right now nothing else exists. It's just you, me, and this room. No one is intruding in our lives. There are no Decepticons, no Autobots, and no war. The problem is that it isn't going to last much longer. Soon the rain will stop, and then the world will come crashing back in on us, and you'll try to kill me again. You might even succeed."

"I won't try to kill you, I promise!" Astrotrain refuted her claims vehemently, "Look, if you just let me do the talking, I can protect you! I'll save you, just come back with me. When this campaign is over my group is going back to Cybertron. Don't you want to see Cybertron again? Just renounce the Autobots and I can save you."

Carousel sighed heavily and looked down at the ground. She knew for once that Astrotrain's spark was in the right place, but she still couldn't trust him. No matter what he said or felt in the moment, he was still a Decepticon, and she was still an Autobot.

"I can't do that, Astrotrain," Carousel said quietly, her helm hung low, "I could never be a Decepticon, or even condone what your people do. I'm sorry."

"So I mean nothing to you, is that it?" Astrotrain asked bitterly, " _Fine_. From now on I'll stay on my side of the barn, and you stay on yours. Trespassers will be ripped apart."

"No, wait! I don't mean it that way!" Carousel shouted placatingly, "Please don't be angry with me. I care about you, but I don't want to make any false promises. That would just hurt worse later."

"Can't we at least _try_ to make this work?" Astrotrain asked morosely, "I won't ask to interface with you anymore. I know you don't like it when I do that. Can we at least kiss though?"

"Well...okay, one kiss couldn't hurt, I suppose," Carousel relented.

Astrotrain smiled and quickly walked up to her. Carousel feared he might lose control again, but Astrotrain stopped walking when he saw she was getting nervous. He walked at a slower pace toward her then, and she held her intakes in both anticipation and trepidation.

He took her chin in his hand and tilted her helm up to face him. She saw the sparkle in his red optics, and for a moment his face actually looked innocent and happy; like a youngling on his first date. She smiled when she realized he was waiting for her to lean toward him, and together they met for their first kiss. Astrotrain's hand was on her helm, and the other hand was at the dip in her hip struts. She held onto his arms, and allowed herself to melt into his embrace for a moment.

When they parted he saw that she had tears flowing down her optics, and he feared he might've done something wrong.

"Did I press too hard?" Astrotrain guessed.

"No, I was just thinking," Carousel replied wanly, "I wish we didn't have to be enemies Astrotrain. I know you have issues. On some level I think I do too. Still, no matter how hard I've tried to keep you away, I do care about you. I could even love you if I let myself. I can't though. We're doomed to fail. You will always be a Decepticon, and I will always be an Autobot. This...this is all we'll ever have together."

Astrotrain wanted to protest, but he didn't know what to say. Carousel turned away from him then and went back to her makeshift berth to lay down. Astrotrain sighed and went back to his side of the barn. He had been so close to having her. He didn't like losing, and her constant rejections felt like a loss. He would just have to make her see that a life with him was the best thing for her.

* * *

It happened so quickly. Astrotrain awoke to the sound of someone pounding on the barn door. The first thing he noticed was the rain had stopped. The second thing he noticed was the door was nearly smashed in from someone battering it relentlessly. The third thing he noticed was Carousel's fearful expression as she cowered in the corner.

Astrotrain got up and went over to Carousel to shield her from whatever force was coming in to seize them. Her body was so close to his that he could feel her spark. She was so warm, and even now he felt that he wanted her.

"Astrotrain, get back!" Carousel whispered frantically, "It's the Decepticons. Please, don't tell them where I am."

Astrotrain had a choice to make. He could do the selfish thing and force Carousel to come with him. Once she was his prisoner he could offer her asylum in exchange for her defection (and affection). Then again, he could do the noble thing for her and let her hide. He could lead the troops away and save her life. He would never see her again, but she would be safe. Yes, Astrotrain had a choice to make…

The door burst open, and several of Astrotrain's troops came running inside. The triple changer saw that while his mechs had a few rust spots, they had mostly come through the storm unscathed. He glanced down at the frightened Carousel tucked away in her hiding corner, and he knew exactly what he was going to do.

"On your feet, Autobot!" Astrotrain yelled loudly enough for everyone to hear, "You heard me, worm! Stand!"

Carousel's optics widened as she realized that she had been betrayed by Astrotrain. She hung her helm in shame as she stood before Astrotrain's soldiers and allowed the boorish triple changer to shackle her arms behind her back.

"Whoa, you were in here for nearly four months alone with a femme?" One of his mechs asked as another whistled incredulously at the situation, "Slag, maybe next time _I_ should get caught in the rain."

The other Decepticons snickered at the snide comment, and Astrotrain joined in, but secretly he was frustrated that he had to subject Carousel to this humiliation. He wanted her as a prisoner, but he didn't like the way the others were treating her. He swore in his mind that he would make it up to her later. Maybe on their wedding night. Yeah, that would work…

His musings were interrupted when a mech he never knew yet was quite familiar with came into the barn. Astrotrain had to do a double take when he realized who it was. _Shockwave_.

"Sir, this is Megatron's scientific administrator and interplanetary liaison," a dark blue tank-former informed Astrotrain, "Shockwave, this is our commanding officer, Astrotrain."

"Yes, I can see that," Shockwave replied disinterestedly, "Astrotrain, Megatron has recalled this unit back to Cybertron. Your troops will be transferred to various other combat units. You will accompany me to Darkmount where you will be given a most important and confidential assignment."

"Me? Really? That's _great_!" Astrotrain replied excitedly.

"Yes, quite," Shockwave muttered, "I am also pleased to see you captured an Autobot prisoner. She will be most useful to me."

" _You_?" Astrotrain asked challengingly, "You can't take away my prisoner! She's _mine_!"

"Actually I can," Shockwave replied; unimpressed, "I outrank you."

After he said those words Shockwave walked behind Carousel and pointed his gun barrel arm at the back of her helm and forced her to walk ahead of him. Astrotrain couldn't believe this! One of Megatron's most trusted officers came into his world and ripped it apart without even firing a shot! He lost his command, he lost his femme, and if he didn't get a hold of himself he would lose his temper. He decided then that not letting Carousel hide was a big mistake.

* * *

Astrotrain spent hours in a small interview room at Darkmount being questioned by Megatron's third in command, Soundwave. As it turned out Astrotrain was being considered for a position in Megatron's inner circle because of his abilities as a triple changer, a fighter, and a transport shuttle. Mostly the transport part.

Astrotrain dutifully and quickly answered each of Soundwave's questions, but he was still preoccupied with Carousel's whereabouts. He wanted to be excused so he could go to Shockwave's lab and find out what happened to her. If he could he would get her out of there. Assuming Shockwave didn't lay a claim on her, Astrotrain figured he could take her as a slave to get her away from those that would harm her. He just hoped he didn't waste his last chance to have a relationship with her.

Once the interview was over Astrotrain practically ran the entire way to Shockwave's lab. It took several breems before Shockwave would see him. Once inside Astrotrain took note of all the high tech equipment and vials of various chemicals. This place gave Astrotrain the creeps, but he wouldn't leave until he had found Carousel.

"Ah, Astrotrain. So glad you came," Shockwave said blandly, and Astrotrain almost turned around and ran away; fearing the reason Shockwave was pleased to see him, "I understand Lord Megatron has chosen you for the next classified mission. I hope you understand the privilege you have been given."

"Yeah, sure," Astrotrain nodded, but he wasn't about to get distracted by small talk, "I was just wondering about that prisoner I brought you…"

"Yes, my latest test subject," Shockwave replied, and Astrotrain felt a hollowing of his tanks when he realized what those casual words actually meant for her, "I tested one of my newest codes on her for the conservation of processor power under duress. The code was supposed to increase efficiency in the processor, but instead it had the opposite effect. Cognitive function is down 30% and motor function is nonexistent. I don't even have to keep her restrained anymore. The body is completely useless. I might be able to get some use from her leftover parts after we scrap her-"

Shockwave probably would've continued talking about his work for who knows how long, but he got a comm from Megatron to meet him on the bridge. Shockwave left Astrotrain to guard his equipment while he was gone since the triple changer was the only one within range and Shockwave didn't want to be late.

Astrotrain decided to take this chance and search for Carousel while he was alone in the laboratory complex. He couldn't believe what that one-eyed slag sucker had done to his femme! He just hoped she was still alive. Astrotrain had one chance left to save her, but he would have to find her first.

Astrotrain searched every room, seeing things he could never unsee. There were organic monsters in one room, and in another room Autobot corpses hanging from the ceiling. Astrotrain wasn't averse to death, but this was sick even by his standards! Shockwave was clearly one disturbed mech.

After searching for 2 breems Astrotrain found an examination room with several tables. All of the tables were unoccupied except for one; Carousel's. She was sprawled out with internals exposed and her helm turned at a weird angle. She looked dead already, but Astrotrain could tell she was alive when her mouth plates began to move.

"Shh," Astrotrain shushed her soothingly as he repositioned her body in a more comfortable position, "There, there, my softsparked femme. Don't try to speak. I'll get you out of here and get you to a medic. Once you're healed I'll take you with me to the Victory. That's the ship I'll be serving on. I'll be working with Megatron himself, and I want you there by my side. We'll be so happy together."

He stroked her helm, and then her left shoulder guard. He ran his hand along the front of her chassis, and he could feel the thrum of her spark. If he offlined his optics he could pretend they were in a fancy hotel room and this was a romantic rendezvous. He could pretend she wasn't immobile, and he wasn't responsible for the horrible suffering she had endured.

"A...Ast-Astrotrain?" Carousel stammered; static filling her speech, "D-don't..."

"Don't what?" Astrotrain asked; leaning closer to hear her better.

"I'm...I'm dying," Carousel told him in a pitiful small voice, "Please...J-Just let m-me g-g-go…"

"Don't talk like that, Carousel!" Astrotrain snapped as he grabbed her limp body and held her close to him, "I'll get you help! You'll be alright...you'll see."

"Y-You can't...keep me here," Carousel mumbled wearily, "You can't...control this. I n-n-need to...I _want_ to go now. If I have to b-be a prisoner, then I would r-r-rather die."

" _No_!" Astrotrain screamed at her, "You can't leave me! I won't let you leave me! I can still save you. I have one trick left that will keep you with me forever…"

Astrotrain then opened Carousel's chassis to reveal the spark inside. Astrotrain then opened his own chassis to expose his spark, and when Carousel felt a pulling sensation she understood with grim clarity what Astrotrain was going to do.

"N-no...I d-don't want this…" Carousel protested, but her voice was too soft to sound forceful, "Please, don't...Astrotrain...stop..."

No matter what she said though, it was too late. Astrotrain's spark was consuming hers. He was forcing her spark to become part of him, to give him more power. She knew Astrotrain was crazy, but she never would've pegged him for a _spark eate_ r. It took several minutes to complete the process, and when it was done her body was nothing more than a grey husk. Her spark now belonged to Astrotrain, whether she liked it or not.

* * *

 **Present Day**

Blitzwing walked casually down the halls of the Nemesis on his way to the rec room.

He didn't even see the two mechs running out of the storage room and right toward him until they nearly caused him to fall over! Blitzwing looked back to see why he nearly fell, and saw that Thrust and Swindle were running away like Unicron himself was on their tailpipes!

"What the…?" Blitzwing asked himself in confusion.

While Blitzwing was looking behind himself however, he didn't notice the speeding train about to plow into him. Blitzwing turned back just in time to see Astrotrain knock him flat on his aft! Astrotrain transformed, and Blitzwing glared at him while Thrust and Swindle used the distraction to make a break for it.

" _Astrotrain_!?" Blitzwing shouted indignantly, "What is your _problem_?"

"I'm chasing down those two idiots for cheating me out of my high grade!" Astrotrain answered; his echoing voice filling the hallway.

"Yeah, well can you play Tom and Jerry later?" Blitzwing asked; referencing an old earth cartoon he had grown to like, "Megatron wants to see us about a new mission."

"Oh, sure. They aren't going anywhere," Astrotrain chuckled as he followed Blitzwing down the hall.

That day all those years ago had profoundly affected Astrotrain, and yet had done nothing to change who he was at all. Carousel's spark had been forced into Astrotrain and the only outside evidence was that now her voice was part of his own. Now when he spoke, two voices merged into one unholy harmony.

She was not dead in the typical sense. Poor Carousel was still trapped inside Astrotrain's spark. Barely conscious, unable to communicate with the outside world or even with Astrotrain, but she was still there. Carousel would be alive for as long as Astrotrain was alive. She was forced into a state of ineffectual consciousness forever; her only purpose giving Astrotrain just a little extra energy. It was an eternal prison from which there was no escape. Her crime? Daring to say that Astrotrain wasn't in control.

 **The End**


End file.
